4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
