I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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