My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize