and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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