I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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