do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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