are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
