Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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