i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
