Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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