she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
