Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
