Say something about gay babies.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Fuck appropriateness.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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