I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
