Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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