YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
