You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
porn star boner night. come get it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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