Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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