I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
