do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
