My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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