I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
