I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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