Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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