Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
