Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
