I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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