Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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