no, he came in my armpit
I just threw up on my dentist
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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