the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
