did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
