Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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