dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
