If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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