i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
