I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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