in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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