Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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