How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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