just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
