im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
