I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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