If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
