He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
