She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
