Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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