Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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