Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
