This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
