I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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